i am mama

Last night I found myself holding my crying, sick Halle.

I found myself up at one in the morning watching Finding Nemo because she couldn't sleep.

I found myself up at two in the morning laying in my bed in the dark watching Halle crawl all over me until she eventually fell asleep propped up against me.

I found myself looking for binkies tangled up in bed sheets all night.

In the morning I found myself wishing for just a little more sleep.

I found myself eating three cookies for breakfast because I felt like I deserved them.

I found myself reading the same books over and over in my bed with Halle.

I found myself discovering and then smelling unidentifiable brown smudges on pajamas and furniture and eventually determining that they were in fact poo extracted from a diaper.

I found myself canceling a playdate we had scheduled for the day, due to her nasty cough and extremely runny nose.

I found myself changing Halle into her infamous elephant pajamas because 1)there was poo on her other ones and 2)they make her incredibly happy.

I found myself making Halle mac and cheese and letting her eat it on her princess couch in front of monsters inc. because it makes her happy.

And now I find myself blissfully happy that this little girl calls me mama and knows mama can make everything better.