Saturday, July 31, 2010

now where's your picket fence, love?

The white picket fence.
Isn't it the American symbol of having everything you want and need in life?
A symbol of comfort and good old fashioned happiness.
I think when you get married you have an idea of what your new life will be like.
You have certain ideas about what will put the white picket fence in front of your shining home.
You may have thought it was you and your spouse maintaining your hot bods.
Maybe it was making lots of money.
Maybe you thought your husband would shower you with gifts and flowers simply because you exist.
Maybe it was the idea that you would travel the world with your companion.
So many lofty little white picket fence ideas.
Some of those things are wonderful and if you do get a chance to do them you have my permission to say you have found your white picket fence in those things.
But, let's all remember that sometimes when you get married things don't go the way you thought they would.
Health, money, jobs, kids, stress, moving, school, church, so many factors that we add into our picket fence equations.
So, where is your picket fence?
Now that you are married and your husband has carried you over the threshold, are you finding your little white picket fence in all the places you thought you would?
I'm not.
Let's face it, sometimes the hot bodies get a little soft around the edges, sometimes there isn't any money, and the flowers will eventually wilt and die.
So, where is my little white picket fence?
What is guarding the happiness in my home?
  • My husband is attracted me. Even though pregnancy was more rough on my body then I ever could have imagined, he still thinks I look pretty good and he lets me know it.
  • We make beautiful kiddies.
  • My husband does not have a problem with pornography. Is it weird that I just said that out loud? This has been more and more on my mind as I hear of marriages everywhere crumbling under this disease. I feel for those men and women who deal with this. I can't thank him enough for keeping that filth out of our home. I should thank him more often for that out loud.
  • I am made equal to my tasks. I love to sleep. I love getting hours and hours of sleep. So you can imagine that it was a bit of a shock to have a baby who hates to sleep. To this day she is not sleeping through the night. There were many nights where I didn't think I could do it. I couldn't go on like this anymore. But here I am. In one piece no less and so is Halle. I am made equal to my seemingly impossible tasks.
  • My husband has a job. Back in the day I did not think we would ever need to worry about finding a job. He had to work his little tooshy off to get it and we hardly ever saw each other while he was trying to get it, but he got one and it is a good, stable one.
  • The sweet sound of a little girl saying, "Mommy, hold you."
  • The healing and guiding power of prayer.
  • The temple that reminds me of the eternal part of myself I so often forget.
  • Laughing. Laughing hard. Laughing hysterically. Laughing with my daughter. Laughing with my husband. Laughing at the things she does. Laughing at the things he does. Laughing makes our home happy, especially when we laugh at ourselves.
Think real hard. Where is your picket fence?

4 comments:

Mandi @ Vintage Revivals said...

You always have the most thought provoking posts! Thanks for stopping and sharing these things with all of us, you are amazing!!

Megan said...

This is a really beautiful post, Megan. Thanks for sharing your deep thoughts. :)

And if I think about it, I don't even need to think about it very hard. My picket fences without a doubt lay with my family, dear friends, the physical/mental/spiritual health and safety of myself and the aforementioned, delicious food, and knowledge of eternity -- a knowledge which makes the world's view of materialistic "picket fences" seem nonsensical.

Michele Ashman Bell said...

Tears in my eyes as I read this beautiful post. You have a gift with words and expression.

Whitney said...

I loved this post. Life does surprise us, doesn't it? So happy that in the midst of all of this craziness and unexpected twists and turns, those surprises so often exceed our expectations. And what you said about pornography really struck a chord with me. I am so thankful for that same blessing of a wonderful, righteous husband. As I have gotten older I have seen so many marriages and families affected by this. Thanks for being bold and sharing. Love you.