i am a mormon

I know it.

I live it.

I love it.

Sometimes people say to me “I don’t know how you do it” or “you are a strong person" or "I could never do what you guys have done."  I try so hard to explain to them that it is not me and yes they could do it.  And I have never truly done any of it alone.  My testimony of the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ and His atonement have carried me much of the way.  The only reason we have “done it” the way we have is because of our faith. 

My testimony began at an early age through quiet moments of personal study of the Book of Mormon and prayer and whisperings from the Holy Ghost.  It has continued to grow as I have nurtured it over the years.  

Eight months ago, me and my little testimony were thrown into the fire.  My husband, my sweetheart, the father of my two young children, the provider of our family, one of the healthiest men I know was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. To say the least we were shocked and devastated.  But, from day one he and I have known where to look to find peace, comfort and strength that can not be found on this earth.  It is strength that has been added upon us by the prayers of others, our own prayers, our faith and the atonement of Jesus Christ. 

What a miracle it is that Jesus has atoned for our sins.  He has paid the price so that we may be washed clean and all can be forgiven as we sincerely repent.  What is equally miraculous about the atonement is the power it has to heal and succor.  In Gesthamane Jesus Christ felt it all, not just our sorrow for sin, but our pains, disappointments, sicknesses, and broken hearts.  He knows how to succor His people because he has felt what we feel.  The day we found out Wes had cancer was tumultuous.  But underneath all the confusion was a knowledge that we are sealed together forever through the power of the priesthood.  Wes would always be mine and I would always be his.  And we felt peace.  We were not alone.  Jesus Christ knew what we were feeling and we felt so close to Him that day.

I know it is the knowledge of the atonement and the plan Heavenly Father has for each of us that has kept me going and kept me smiling through these months. 

The night before Wes had his colonoscopy that eventually found his cancer we put our children to bed, his father and a neighbor gave him a priesthood blessing, we prayed together and he went to bed.  As I knelt to say my own personal prayers that night I had barely turned my thoughts heavenward when I began to cry.  At the time I was confused.  I couldn’t understand why I was crying.  The strangest feeling had come over me.  I can only describe it as a very sad peace and it lingered throughout my prayer.  After the events that transpired the next day, I now know what that feeling meant and what it was telling me.  It seemed to be saying “It’s not okay, but it’s going to be.”  I have felt it so many times since then.  I have felt my Savior take me by the hand and let me know that it may not be okay right now, but one day it will be.  That is the power of the atonement that is available to all of us through whatever trial big or small we are going through.  I don’t know if it going to be okay in this life or in the next, but I know with all my heart that one day it will be okay. All that is unfair about this life will be made equal through the atonement.  I chose this life before I came to earth and I rejoiced for the chance to live it.  The gospel of Jesus Christ gives me a reason to rejoice every single day, even on the hard ones.

There have been times through these past few months when I have felt like my faith could literally move a mountain.  If I needed to, I could push Mt. Everest out of the way.  I have that much faith in the healing power of the priesthood.  But I have even more faith in the will of God and his plan for each of us.  I know if I needed to move this mountain set before us I could.  But I know this is a mountain we are supposed to climb, not move.

I do not know what lies ahead for Wes or our family.  But I do know that whatever it is it will be made right through the atonement and it will not be done alone.  Jesus Christ will come for us if we will let Him.  I know this because it has happened for us in our darkest hour.

I testify that Jesus Christ is our Savior.  He atoned for our sins, our pains, and our sufferings.  I know He died for us and rose again.  I know our pains and afflictions can be swallowed up in that infinite atonement and our burdens can be made light. I know that the true church is on the earth today, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I know that our Father in Heaven has a plan for us.  He knows my name, He knows my heart, and He will not leave me comfortless. I testify of these things in the name of Jesus Christ. 

I am a Mormon.  If you are not and want to know more please visit mormon.org 

I know it. 

I live it.

I love it.

It has helped me face trials and burdens I never thought would be placed upon my shoulders.